Someday
by stevieLUVSAlex
Summary: When Reid loses Maeve he locks himself away in his apartment for 2 weeks. All his friends are worried. Who is the one who brings him out of the darkness? Just a one-shot. A surprise return ))


**A/N: This is my first solo CM FF… if you don't include a crossover I wrote many moons ago. After the episode ZUGZWANG I bawled like a baby. I couldn't find any FF's following that story and so I thought I'd write one myself. And since Emily Prentiss is no longer in it (I also bawled like a baby when she left) I figure why not bring her into this one, since she was always a fav. =)**

**So this is taken straight after ZUGZWANG.**

**Have fun reading! Any mistakes are mine! I do not own these characters … blah, blah, blah… but oh, how I wish I could just borrow Spencer Reid for a little while *sighs dreamily***

Maeve. That's what he knew her as. That was her name. Her _name_. And what a beautiful name spoken on his lips. He whispered it over and over again as he sat on the floor against the wall. He had been hibernating in his apartment for two weeks now. He didn't answer any calls or text messages, and he didn't answer the door when the BAU team popped by with baskets of goodies, though when he was sure they'd left, he went out into the hall to retrieve them.

Garcia. Thoughtful and vibrant Penelope Garcia. She had given him a basket of nuts, which had Magnesium, which helps produce serotonin, in effect making you feel better. He hadn't smiled when he got the basket, but he had thought about it, which was a small miracle considering what happened.

His thoughts drifted back Maeve.

He saw her face in his mind and he flinched. His chest tightened.

_Her name. Focus on her name._

Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was her beautiful face… still… frozen… dead.

It wasn't fair. He hadn't asked for much in life, in fact he expected very little, but he had wanted this. He had wanted her. He loved her. He didn't even get a chance to tell her that, though he had a feeling his actions had been louder than words. He had been willing to die for her. Instead, Maeve had been taken from him.

By_ her_. Diane Turner. Reid had never hated someone so much in his life.

Reid sat staring into a void of darkness. Nothingness. He was trying to figure it out, in his genius mind, he was trying to work out where it had gone wrong and what he could have done to stop it. Oh, how he wished he had done things differently. If he had never had the headaches… if he had never talked to her on the phone for those months… 2,412 hours… 100.5 days… if he had not wanted to meet her in person… none of this would have happened. The woman he loved would still be alive.

It was his fault, and that realization was the one thing that was keeping him locked up in his apartment, so determined to be distant from the outside world.

_Thomas Merton_. The one thing that no one could take away from them.

And Sundays. Sundays was their day. And today was Sunday.

A knock on the door pulled him back to reality.

_Goddamn it_, he thought, _leave me alone_.

He sat there in silence. Zombie-like. Barely moving at all.

"Reid?" a voice called through the closed door.

The voice was familiar. Could it be-? Could she really have flown from England back to Virginia just to see him?

"Reid… can I come in?"

His mind still a little hazy, he got up off the floor and crossed the room to meet her.

The moment he opened the door, his eyes filled with tears.

Emily Prentiss moved inside, closed the door behind her and then drew Reid into his arms, where he sobbed openly for a long time. All his friends had made an effort. Some had come by, leaving baskets, some had left dozens of text messages on his cell phone and others had emailed him, hoping that he would come out of his hiding place long enough to let them know he was still alive and breathing.

But it was Emily Prentiss who had drawn him to the door.

Finally, Emily led him to the couch and they sat down.

"I didn't even get to tell her I loved her," he said quietly, not knowing where to start.

"It's not the way I hear it. Apparently, you were a hero. You were willing to trade your life for hers. That tells me that she knew you loved her, there is nothing bigger to prove your love than to lay your own life on the line."

"It's Sunday."

Emily frowned. "Sunday… what does that-?"

"We talked on Sundays. I called her every Sunday. I miss talking to her."

"I know," she nodded, holding his hand.

"It's my fault," he stated.

"No," she said firmly. She hooked her finger under his chin and forced his gaze to meets hers. "It was Diane. Not you. You had no control over what she did, Reid. Maeve would have known that."

Reid nodded. His mind told him that Emily was right but his heart was in too much pain to process it all. "When I close my eyes I see her laying there," he said through his tears. "I can't get it out of my head."

"It takes time…" she said gently.

A few minutes of silence lingered.

"Thank you for coming," he said.

"Always. You're my family, Reid. All of you are. Just because I don't see you everyday doesn't mean I don't think of you. I will be here in the blink of an eye if you need me. I promise."

Reid nodded and put his arms around her. Somehow having her there, made him feel better and he knew that he was going to be okay. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday, maybe sooner than he thought, he would close his eyes and he would see Maeve's beautiful face and it wouldn't hurt so much.

Someday.


End file.
